The old normal

Towards the end of the last year Rick and I went through a drastic change in lifestyle and income. He was let go from his old job. While financially beneficial, it wasn't helping us in any other way. Rick was suffering from micro-sleeps on the way to work, he was constantly stressed, he was away from home for a minimum of 10 hours a day some 14-16 hours shifts would happen at least once a fortnight.

With the proverbial rug pulled out from under us, we were left hanging and re-thinking and re-assessing what we really needed in life, what our goals were, what we could afford to buy during a weekly shop, this evidently didn't end up being very much at all.

Last night, while at the chemist, I was feeling out of sorts and not in the right frame of mind to do any shopping. Our chemist carries a lot of products that aren't just medical or therapeutic related, laundry liquid, make up, toilet paper, all the stuff I call bathroom things. While we waited for my scripts to be filled, we walked around to grab the other items that we desperately needed, bad idea as my sense of budgetary constraints weren't functional. These were just simple item, face wash, mouth wash, new toothbrushes (ours were about 8 months old), laundry liquid, normal items most people would shop for.

This morning, after breakfast, I used my face wash, brush my teeth with the new brush heads, used the dental floss before using the mouthwash we had just purchased, as I listened to the washing machine churn with our newly purchase laundry liquid.  Such simple normal things. An everyday routine for most that I hadn't been able to participate in. As I flossed and realise the amount of laundry I was facing, as sense of gratitude for the lack of control over budgetary constraints whilst at the chemist, washed over me. I thought to myself, this is what our old normal was. Spending money without really needing to conform to a set budget. I choked back a little as tears welled up.

We've been struggling to get used to our new norms. The little things have been hard. My parents have been coming over, using the excuse of saying hello so they can drop off home grown vegetables and other goodies that they have "too much" of. Their visits have become more frequent. I appreciate their help immensely, although hard for me to accept as I feel we shouldn't be in this position, but know we need to learn a lesson from it.

Simple things that we used to take for granted. $5 of chips from the fish and chip shop was nothing. We now factor in if we have enough petrol for an extra trip down the road, do we have enough drinking water and petrol to go and get more water. Can we buy fresh vegetables and fruit or will we have to wait for next weeks pay. Which of my medications do you we wait for, which ones can I safely not take so that we can keep to the budget. Restrictions I've not faced in nearly 10 years.

It has been hard, but to be honest, there is nothing about our life now that I would want different. I have a greater appreciation for friends and family who offer help without being asked. I have a greater sense of what we waste and what we use in our fridge. Left overs are given to our dogs as to make sure it's not just a waste of food but to respect the animals, the farmers, the land from which the base ingredients come from. My mindset is slowly changing, and that is the greatest and best change that I have been allowed to experience.