The only real experience I've had with concerts was being an usher at the Michael Jackson Black tour in 1996. Didn't care for it much. I hate loud music unless I'm dancing to it or it's the classical stuff, full of string instruments that make your skin all goose bumpy. When my younger brother asked I wanted to go to Jack Johnson in December I immediately said yes, quickly followed by a no and then a can I think about it. My indecision, partly to do with anxiety, and a feeling we had booking for a market that weekend, kept up for almost a week when I finally said just get them! Last Tuesday he purchased the tickets and I'm now going to go to my first official concert. 
I spent the next couple of days packing for a music festival in the Sunshine Coast Hinterland, not having ever attended a festival of this type before, I had no idea what to expect. I've seen photos but that's the extent of my exposure. The line up had been billed for a while now and I hadn't recognised any of the names, which is ok, I'm not familiar with every band, group, singer out there. I honestly wasn't expecting to be submerged into a music culture that gets you from the inside.
Thursday afternoon we arrived at Mitchell Creek for the first day of our 5 day adventure. We slowly set up our camping area which was directly behind our stall, massive blessing in disguise which I'll explain later. Marquees up, no tent as it was way too humongous for only two people, table for the stall were up, our camping set up was ready, we were set. Of course, being on diuretics, I had to find where the closest toilet was and ensure that in an early morning rush I could make it safely, there were a few close calls but I always made it.
Where the festival is situated has to be seen. It's on private property, owned by the event organiser,
Jimmy. The stage, camping and stall areas are in close proximity to the other and set in the valley along a creek. The dry winter meant the grass was crunchy and dry underfoot and no fires were allowed. Ricky and I left our camp and wandered around, looking for dinner as we were too tired from such a long days journeying. We found a Thai foodie. Serious yums were had that night. Their spring rolls were very yummy, but not quite as good as mine, but don't we all say that? They also had curry puffs. Ricky's always been partial to a good curry, however, I've been a little more hesitant. I tried their curry puffs and it was delicious. The curry flavour wasn't over powering the veges that were in the filling, the pasty was soft but kept its shape. Just perfect. Rick ordered pad Thai for his dinner and I ordered beef masaman. I shouldn't have eaten it all by myself. My tummy can be a bit intolerant to coconut milk/cream and spicy chilli. It was only mild but added to the over all flavours of the dish. Luckily it didn't react as badly as most of my previous experiences, hahaha. 
Friday morning the bands started around 10am. I wasn't too excited, I wasn't really looking forward to any of it to be honest. By now my anxiety and panic attack was setting in, knowing that we had spent so much money on the weekend, thinking just make what we spent and be happy. All day I felt it creeping up, sinking it's teeth in with the negative mantras that circulate deep within my psyche. When self doubt starts the snowball effect of anxiety and panic attacks will just continue until I sleep. Sometimes I'll wake feeling free, sometimes I'll still be trapped within its grasp. That night, I got a break, just long enough to hear the chorus to the song Natural Woman by 19twenty. I fell asleep.
The next morning I wasn't 100% but pushed through. The lyrics to Natural Woman echoed in my mind all day in between guest spots from Jack Johnson and other artist, I had an abridged version of songs in concert playing in my head. ALL FREAKING DAY!
Ricky wandered over to the merchandise tent as we weren't very busy with our stall, to grab a CD of 19twenty. I hadn't told him that I had fallen in love with their song. He got the CD with the song he liked. I was a little disappointed but thought, it's ok. He went back the next day to get the CD with my song on it.
Sunday morning came rushing in too quickly. The nights, initially were cold as hell, you felt it get down into your bones, the days were warm, but the wind would pick up and cool it down enough. My anxiety had taken off for the moment and allowed me some time to enjoy the entertainment, on the last day of performances, I mean seriously couldn't you have left earlier anxiety?
We both spent the day creating some Mitchell Creek pieces, carrying the vibe of the area within the pieces we had made. Towards the afternoon, as the sun started to drift down behind the hills, we moved to the front of our stall with a little table of pieces to make and some snacks and later dinner.
The bands just went off for their last performances. Wow! I got to feel the full energy of the whole event, the air was electric, and lightly perfumed by smokers of the green variety. I was finally in a place where I could let the music in, I felt it deep in my belly, wanting to get out and scream and
roar. There was a thunder inside me that needed to escape. Age, anxiety and conditioned social norms kept me from truly letting go the way I wanted. That night we went to bed late and left our light on again.
I wanted to keep the lights on as we had people walking in between our stalls and neither of our neighbours were comfortable with this. We did everything we could to block it off. Luckily for us we had been, for the most part successful, as come Saturday night three stalls, who's area was poorly lit as they were around the corner from the main stage and arena, were broken into and their stock stolen. One stall had over $2000 worth of their stock taken, macrame jewellery and hand carved bone pendants, another stall was handmade rings made of kitchen utensils and the other was a cured meats stall. Most of the stock was returned. The rumours abound regarding who it was, when it happened. Luckily we kept our lights on that night.
This was the only negative thing that happened during the five days, one incident that was caused by non-festival goers (or so the rumour goes).
After the arduous task of breaking down the camp site, repacking the back of the ute and ensuring we hadn't left and rubbish, we made our trek home. Ricky and I were energised from the festival. Our creativity, our minds were in overdrive for what we wanted to do next year. As we listened to our new CD's on the way home we gabbed about getting our Gucci van ready for next years festival, how we'd set up the stall and the camping area behind, what we would do differently, what we'd bring that we forgot at home.
It's almost exactly 12 months until the next festival. Next year I won't spend my time sleeping off my anxiety. I'm going to say "FUCK IT! LET'S JUST DO THIS THING!!!"
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