Conversations with the dead.

A lot of mediums/psychics/readers/chanels will sooner or later, come across spirits, good and bad, who have passed over. I first started having dreams about people who passed over when I was about 13 years old. One of my favourite actors, River Pheonix, died of a drug over dose on Halloween night, 1993. I was a very impressionable 13 years old girl who was close to finishing her first year of high school.

I had watched a few movies that River Pheonix had starred in, but after his death, I was determined to see all of them. I was also very much intent on purchasing a biography about his life. I earned very little in terms of pocket money and had to save up for a few months, from lunch money, no school trips etc so I could afford the $30 biography.  I eventually bought the book, a few weeks before school let out for the summer break.

What spawned me into wanting more information about this particular actor was a set of dreams that I had, for three nights or so, in a row, I dreamt about him. All of my dreams since this initial conversation, have taken place in a interrogation room style scene. I don't know why, it may have something to do with my need to control the situation even in my subconscious. The first dream, I thought was just that, a dream where i was exploring my unexplainable grief, sure I had a crush on him as a teenage girl would idolise a Hollywood actor, but I could not explain my attachment.

He came along, as was introduced by a faceless person. River Pheonix sat down and seemed calm. He asked me to be seated on the opposite side of a small table. The room itself was painted in varying shades of gray. River was wearing loose cargo pants, a mustard coloured top, with a hoody or dark grey/ charcoal zip up style jumper, and a khaki coloured jacket. He had a couple of bracelets around his left wrist, the most significant seemed to be longer than the others, I believe there was 3 or 4 altogether, I didn't know it back then, but it looked like prayer beads of some sort. I don't believe he wore a watch though, as I read in his biography that he didn't want to be tied down to the mundane and make his life so predictable as to set an alarm. River wore his hair long, unkempt to his shoulders. His face, however, was beautifully smooth and free of fear.

When I was comfortable enough to talk to him, I asked him "Why?", as he has always been so anti-drugs. I don't remember the words he used, but I remember his nonchalant attitude and demeanor. He seemed to shake off my questions, but was more than willing to participate in the whole thing. I felt that I wasn't going to get any answers from him. It was only right at the end when he came forward across the table and asked me if I wanted to talk to him again the following night, I said yes and we agreed to meet up again in my dreams.

That's when I started to receive information that wasn't always related to him. At first I asked again why he felt he needed to use drugs, this time he was a little more willing to explain why. I'm not stating that this is at all factual, nor am I trying to convince you of the authenticity of my information, but for me, it was real enough. River motioned that it was the pain from deep inside him that lead him down that path. He has a great self loathing that couldn't be removed no matter how hard he tried to prop himself up.

We talked for several nights like this, not sure if dreams followed each other one night after another or if I had night after night of succeeding dreams about him. What I do know is that he empowered me to believe in what I saw, what I heard and what I felt. He told me that I could do this, it wasn't just a fairy tale and that I should just believe.

So, here, more than 20 years down the track, I do believe, I do talk to spirits in my dreams. I want the messages to come as easily in my dreams as any conversation I would have with a living person.